Three Perfect Days: Southern Scotland
I am writing this from a train on too little sleep. I am well behind on my writing here because of traveling and writing other things (I think this is good since I am being paid to write other things and not this). Somehow I am still jet lagged. Somehow my time in Scotland is almost over.
In the back of my mind, this blog post has been swirling around behind the poems and essays I’ve been writing about thaumatropes, the direction doors open, and the difference between anywhere and everywhere.
I am writing this on a train between Glasgow and Edinburgh where I will fly out to France tomorrow. It is taking all of my effort to get these words out to both adequately paint the time here and to write it briefly enough that it doesn’t turn into a book-length memoir.
So, in lieu of tasting notes, though I will certainly post those retroactively at the end of the trip, I will borrow from Hemispheres magazine. (You know, the magazine in the back of the seats on United Airlines flights? If you don’t know it, I do not blame you, but I do feel sad for you. It is a tragically underappreiated publication, and their series of “Three Perfect Days” stirred something in my soul the first time I read it (if anyone can find a copy of their article about Chengdu, I will pay you. It is lost in a pre-internet abyss), and I honestly believe that it is the reason I love traveling as much as I do now.)
After two weeks of bliss and awe, I believe I am as qualified as I could ever be to create my own “Three Perfect Days.”
Day One: Edinburgh
In which you’ll see the city from above, enjoy some art, lunch with flowers, and sample some local flavors.
You wake up, jetlagged no doubt, but you were good and didn’t sleep on the plane so you could fall asleep around 9pm the night before. You’re not refreshed, but you are awake and ready to go. Edinburgh is a transit dream. Walk, bike, bus, take your pick. But you are staying in Edinburgh’s “New Town,” so I suggest you enjoy a walk.
Stop into Fauna Coffee on your way to Edinburgh Castle for an espresso, chat with the friendly staff while you wait, and fall to the temptation of their sweet or savory pastries (the Plié au Chocolate or the Spinach Bougatsa with smoked paprika are my favorites). Nibble and sip as you walk up the hill, thighs burning, to the entrance to the castle.
From the ramparts, you can see Edinburgh spread out toward the Ocean. While you’re there, get a taste for royalty, see the crown jewels, sample a nip of whatever local spirit or liqueur they’re offering in the gift shop, and catch your breath before meandering down towards the Scottish National Gallery below.
The Scottish National Gallery is free to enter with a paid ticket to their special exhibition (it was the Impressionists while I was there. Hello Matisse!). You’ll be tempted to spend the whole day perusing Da Vinci’s, Titian’s, Van Gogh’s, Picasso’s, and all the other great artists you’ve ever heard of. Take a moment to watch another visitor replicate a piece on their own notepad, and become overwhelmed with envy at not practicing painting more diligently while you were in school.
Eventually, you’ll be hungry enough to pry yourself away from the Gallery, but you’re not going to want to spoil your appetite for dinner. Instead, walk towards the I. J. Mellis Cheesemonger on your way to the Botanical Gardens to pick up some local bread, cheese, and a can or two of dry apple cider.
With your newly acquired picnic in tow, enjoy the greenery while walking along the Waters of Leith, the river running through Edinburgh, on your way to the botanical gardens.
By now, your feet will be tired, there’s no avoiding that with all the walking, but you’re in the Royal Botanical Gardens, so find a bench out of the way. No matter where you sit down, you’ll be surrounded by a curated environment of extraordinary plant life. (I recommend plopping down in the Chinese Hillside or the Botanic Cottage.)
Unwrap your cheese, break off some bread, crack open a cider, and take a load off. It’s getting late in the afternoon, but you don’t have anywhere to be for a bit, so take your time. Once you’re refreshed and your hunger is satiated, peruse all the gardens have to offer. Smell the herbs, flowers, damp moss, and get a little lost.
You’ll notice the sun starting to dip, or, given the high possibility of clouds, you’ll feel it getting a little chillier. Make your way back to your abode to shower and change into some smart evening wear. You have a reservation at Forage & Chatter at 8.
After stuffing yourself on Tamarind Glazed Lamb Shoulder, the best Pork Loin you’ve ever had, and an Almond Financier paired with local Scotches courtesy of the knowledgeable wait staff, you’ll feel bed calling you like a Siren. But, make sure to set your alarm, you’ve got a train to catch in the morning.
Day Two: To Saint Andrews and back in time for High Tea
In which you’ll polar plunge, dry off among the ruins, eat like a student, knock back a pint during Bill Murray’s backswing, and relax from it all in a gorgeous tea room.
It won’t be easy to get up after last night’s dinner, but it will be worth it to catch the early train to St. Andrews. Grab a coffee and pastry from the train station and settle in. It’s only an hour on the train and another twenty minutes on a bus until you’re in the heart of a Scottish postcard.
St. Andrews is situated on the East Coast looking over the North Sea. Walk along the coastal sidewalk through the edge of campus towards the name sake castle. Just past the castle is a little staircase leading down to the beach. As the tide goes out, the water forms natural and man-made pools where you will see locals, no matter the season, braving the chill for a dip.
Strip down to your swimmies, or don a wetsuit and join them. The cold will wash away any lingering sleepiness from jetlag and fine dining. Pop back up, dry off, put your clothes and walking shoes back on, and walk up the stairs to the castle entrance.
You’ll get your history fix standing on the ruined walls of a castle built in the thirteenth century. Relive religious battles as you sip a ginger ale from the gift shop.
If medieval history isn’t your thing, not to worry, just walk into town through the hallowed streets of the University of St. Andrews. Just past one of the university’s gated gardens, you’ll find the Tailend Restaurant. Weather permitting, grab your fish and chips and watch students make their way to classes. Become overwhelmed with envy again, but this time about not studying harder for your ACTs. They are living the dream.
Since you’re already heading that way to catch the train back to Edinburgh, stop by the Old Course while a tournament is on. Grab a table by the eighteenth at the Jigger Inn and a pint of their famous Jigger Ale. If you’re lucky, the annual Pro-Am tournament will be going on and you might just catch a glimpse of Bill Murray finding the green from the rough near the Inn.
You’ll want to linger, the ale will beckon, but you made reservations for tea, and it’s best not to keep anyone in the U.K. waiting on tea.
From Haymarket train station, you’ll walk fifteen minutes into an unassuming neighborhood. Hidden in one corner is the Bonham Hotel. In the afternoons, they serve tea from 1pm-5pm every day. You’ll be greeted by the best smelling hotel you’ve ever stepped foot in, you’ll be tempted to ask them where they get the scent from, but you’ll instead be directed into the tea room where you are given a choice of tea, a three tiered snack platter, and a glass of Prosecco.
Bring a book, a journal, or whatever it is you like to do to relax. Lounge in the soft chairs while you eat finger sandwhiches. Sip tea from saucers like you always imagined you would after watching Pride and Prejudice too many times. Butter a scone. Relax.
As tea comes to a close, stand and stretch from your afternoon stupor, grab your bags, and head back to the train station to catch a fifty minute ride to Glasgow where you will be spending the night. Once there, grab some Indian food from around your hotel (you can’t go wrong), and tuck in for the night before your last day.
Day Three: Glasgow, Loch Lomond, and a Distillery
In which you’ll have a Turkish breakfast, skip stones on a Loch, and fall into a whiskey haze before you fly home the next day.
After waking up from an incredible night of sleep in the hotel, get your day bag ready because you won’t be back until this evening. To get the pep in your step you need to do it all, stop into the Ottoman Coffee Shop for a piping hot, traditional Turkish coffee and some cultural treats. Depending on what time you managed to get out of the hotel, you can take a pitstop at the University of Glasgow to explore another amazing campus and even get surprised by stumbling onto their natural history museum.
Otherwise, you’ll be experiencing Glasgow during your walk to the train station.
On the train, you’ll head a little further West up to Loch Lomond. From your stop, you can take any of the trails to walk around and explore the Loch and the mountains surrounding. If you need a little pick me up or a chai latte, making your way towards Wild Highlands Coffee on one of the piers. Chat with some of the local boat captains or park rangers while your drink brews, and then head to the end of the pier to soak in the landscape.
From the Loch, saunter back into town and grab some lunch at one of the diners near the train station. You’re going to want to have something on your stomach before you get to the distillery.
It’s a twenty minute walk from the nearest station to the distillery, but even along a highway the views of the mountains on your left and the wooded landscape on your right will make the time pass quickly.
The Auchentoshan Distillery (pronounced “OCK-UN-TOSH-UN”) is nestled in its own little valley. Follow the creek leading down from their pond (the water from which they use for cooling) to the visitor’s center where you will meet up with your tour guide to explore their facility.
You’ll imbibe a tasting of nearly all of the whiskies they offer as your guide explains how their golden liquid made it to your glass. At the end of the tour, you will be brought into a tasting room where you will get to fill in any gaps in the Auchentoshan menu and even try a sampling of some schotches that will never find their way to market (mostly because the staff drink them before they leave the building).
Now that you’re an expert, head into their gift shop and grab a bottle (or several) of whiskies only available from the distillery shop and make sure to grab at least two boxes of their shortbread. Oh, and maybe grab some water too.
The walk back to the train will pass by like a dream. The chances of you staying awake as it rocks you back to Glasgow are low, but you’ll open your eyes in the station and realize it’s later than you thought. If you have the energy, then take some time to explore and grab some food from any one of the city’s award winning restaurants, but, if you’re like me and feel the drams calling you to bed, room service is always a good idea.
No matter what you decide to do, pat yourself on the back because you’ve done it. You are flying out of Glasgow in the morning after three perfect days in Southern Scotland. You will no doubt begin planning your return the moment the seatbelt light turns off.
